Learning to Handle Change - Mental Health Tips from Disney’s Toy Story

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Change. A fact of life, yet all of us hate it. Some handle it better than others. Woody, in Disney’s Toy Story gives us a perfect example of how us as a people handle change. Woody is moving to a new house and threatened by a new toy. Woody goes through a hard time and does not handle change well at all. He becomes easily jealous and causes a lot of problems. It is not until the end of the movie when Woody realizes Buzz is not as bad as he thought that he accepts the change and things improve.

Change is not easy to handle; we are creatures of habit. We like things to be the same, but the way of life is all about change. There are ways of making things seem better though and ways to change our negative outlook on change.

1) Be prepared for change. Most changes we can see coming. Prepare yourself ahead of time and tell yourself that this change is inevitable and happening. The more you talk to yourself positively about change, the easier it can be.

2) Find appropriate support. Woody’s advice to his fellow toys going through a move and a large change was “find a moving buddy.” Are you alone in this change? Probably not. Most likely you are going through this change with someone else. Utilize them. If you are alone, find someone to talk to about it with. Supports are always available, you just have to ask.

3) Express feelings about change. As I mentioned in the previous point, open up to someone about it. If you cannot open up to someone else, then open up to yourself in some form like journaling. Express things, do not hold them in. Expressing it gets it out and lets us move on instead of holding it inward and dwelling.

4) Be aware of unrealistic expectations. Often times we build things up in our minds. We have certain expectations for these changes and when they do not happen, we get disappointed. Be aware of what your expectations are. Expectations and reality are often different unfortunately.

5) What is the worst that can happen? Along with unrealistic expectations, maybe look at what is the worst that can happen. Normally, the worst does not actually happen. By thinking it in these terms we can all be happily surprised to find that maybe change was not all that bad to begin with.

6) Acknowledge you can only control yourself. As much as everyone loves to be in control, that is not always entirely possible. Learn you cannot control the actions of others or some aspects of change, but you can control yourself and how you handle and think of change.

7) Use your coping skills. Use those skills, tools, distractions, etc. that help you deal with other problems. That is what they are there for. If you do not have any, write a long list of possible tools to use such as journaling, taking a bath, exercising, etc.

8) Take things slowly. Set goals for yourself and pace yourself in your change. Things can always be broken down so they are easier to handle.

Know that you are not alone in thinking change is hard. Everyone has difficulty accepting change and making it happen. Just make it a little easier on yourself by following those simple steps.

Activity: You Are In Control of Your Stress

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All of us deal with many stressors on a daily basis. Some stressors are more difficult to handle than others. On occasion, we lose control and enter a downward spiral; our stress seems to be too much to handle. For those times when your stressors are overwhelming, here is an activity that will help you see you have more control than you think.

1. Get a sheet of paper

2. Draw a line down the middle of your paper

3. On the left side write a list of your stressors. Below are some examples.

                  a.     Finances

b.     Difficult People

c.     Cooking

d.     Cleaning

e.     Work

f.      Etc…

4. Look at your list and circle the ones that you can control

Not much to circle is there? Most people find that very few stressors are really within their control. Good for you though if this isn’t true and your stressors are in your control.

5. On the right side of your paper write at least one coping skill or way you can handle each stressor you wrote on the left side.

6. Now circle what you can control.

a.     Learn to budget

b.     Set boundaries

c.     Make a plan, don’t cook things that are too complicated

d.     Take breaks, listen to music

e.     Take more breaks

f.      Etc…

All of them right? Did this turn things back in your favor? Hopefully this gives you more power over your stressors and gives you a little more hope when dealing with stressful situations. I have personally completed this activity many times and feel a little more relieved each time about my stressors. Repeat this activity as often as you need because stressors change all the time as well as coping skills.

Take control of your stress, don’t let it control you!

And p.s. You CAN do it! 

Learning to Handle Social Anxiety

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“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” – Babe Ruth

Whenever I hear this quote I tend to focus more on its literal meaning rather than its greater significance. I frequently keep myself from playing the game not necessarily being worried I’ll strike out, that’s inevitable, but the entire embarrassment of the situation... people watching me... waiting for me to mess up... and then laughing at me! It's just not something I look forward to doing. Not just in baseball or other sports though, but there are many situations where I do the same thing. I keep myself out because of the thought of what could go wrong. I probably gyp myself out of a lot of great activities.

Yes, I’m a therapist and even I struggle with social anxiety. Social anxiety is when you have a constant discomfort in social situations where you constantly wonder whether you are being judged by others. Here’s a few tips for those of us that do have struggles so we can work on letting our fears go and join in some most likely fun activities.

1. Learn to relax

Practicing relaxation techniques, specifically before an anxiety-provoking situation could help alleviate a lot of tension. Do deep breathing exercises or a short progressive muscle relaxation session. There are many relaxation videos that can be found on YouTube.

2. Gradual exposure

“Baby steps” anyone? Don’t feel like you have to conquer it all right now. Make a list of the least to most anxious situations and gradually practice exposing yourself to them.

3. Practice positive self-talk

A lot of us use “thinking errors.” An example is overgenalization, which is coming to a general conclusion and attaching it to everything. “Everyone is staring at me” or “Everyone thinks I’m stupid.” Really? Everyone? What about - “is anybody actually thinking that?” Probably not. Most people are actually probably thinking the exact same you are and are more focusing on themselves instead of you. Train yourself to talk yourself and your anxious thoughts down.

4. Don’t feel like you have to handle this alone

Surely there is someone who can help talk you through your gradual exposures and be your support system. Maybe you even have a friend who struggles with something similar. Utilize supports and friends! Just knowing you’re not alone can do wonders.

5. Keep practicing!

Never give if you feel like even this is too much or it isn’t working. It’s ok to involve a professional sometimes as well. And one failed chance doesn’t mean complete failure; always try again. You deserve a chance for freedom from anxiety in social situations. Just remember “never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”

Mental Health Awareness: Decreasing Your Stress

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Mental health is our overall psychological well-being. Taking care of our mental health is important because it affects the way we feel, our relationships, and ability to handle difficulties that come our way. Stress is an important part of mental health and can affect all of those mentioned above. Here are a few helpful tips in decreasing your stress level to help your mental health.

1. Identify Your Stressors

In order to decrease your stress level you need to first identify the things that stress you out the most. Are there certain activities or even people that should be on your list?

2. Unnecessary Commitments

A lot of us tend to put other people before ourselves. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes it can be a source of stress in your life. Is there a commitment that you can possibly eliminate? Put your commitments that have the most value first and then slowly weed out those that maybe aren’t as necessary.

3. Slow Down

We live in a very fast-paced world. It’s ok to slow things down once in a while instead of rushing through to complete everything that we feel we need to. Take the time to enjoy the things around you instead of rushing so fast you miss it.

4. Relax

Take mini-breaks during your day! Just stop what you’re doing every once in a while – this is part of slowing down. Take the time to do something that you like and take care of yourself. It’s ok to take time for yourself.

5. Exercise

With our busy lives this is a really hard thing to do. Exercising itself is also hard, but it has its positive points. Exercise is a huge de-stressor and gives us an opportunity to work on ourselves and build up more energy to keep up with our busy lives.

6. Eat Healthy

Have you ever noticed how you feel after you eat a huge greasy hamburger? Sometimes it hits the spot, but other times I don’t like the way I feel after I eat junk food. It also doesn’t give you enough energy that you need like healthy food can to keep up with our busy lives.

7. Eliminate the Small Things

There are a lot of things that all of us do that only adds to our stress level. Some of those things might be procrastinating, being disorganized and messy, being late, having to control everything, multitasking, etc. Those are some things that can be easily taken care of and eliminated to make us happier and less stressed.

8. De-Stressing Activities

Pick up some new activities that will help you relieve your stress. Activities may include journaling, meditation, yoga, deep breathing, laughing, listening to music, taking a walk, and/or enjoying your long lost hobby that got lost in the shuffle of everyday life.

Your mental health is important! Decrease your stress level so you can take care of your well-being. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't first take care of yourself.