Learning to Handle Social Anxiety

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“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” – Babe Ruth

Whenever I hear this quote I tend to focus more on its literal meaning rather than its greater significance. I frequently keep myself from playing the game not necessarily being worried I’ll strike out, that’s inevitable, but the entire embarrassment of the situation... people watching me... waiting for me to mess up... and then laughing at me! It's just not something I look forward to doing. Not just in baseball or other sports though, but there are many situations where I do the same thing. I keep myself out because of the thought of what could go wrong. I probably gyp myself out of a lot of great activities.

Yes, I’m a therapist and even I struggle with social anxiety. Social anxiety is when you have a constant discomfort in social situations where you constantly wonder whether you are being judged by others. Here’s a few tips for those of us that do have struggles so we can work on letting our fears go and join in some most likely fun activities.

1. Learn to relax

Practicing relaxation techniques, specifically before an anxiety-provoking situation could help alleviate a lot of tension. Do deep breathing exercises or a short progressive muscle relaxation session. There are many relaxation videos that can be found on YouTube.

2. Gradual exposure

“Baby steps” anyone? Don’t feel like you have to conquer it all right now. Make a list of the least to most anxious situations and gradually practice exposing yourself to them.

3. Practice positive self-talk

A lot of us use “thinking errors.” An example is overgenalization, which is coming to a general conclusion and attaching it to everything. “Everyone is staring at me” or “Everyone thinks I’m stupid.” Really? Everyone? What about - “is anybody actually thinking that?” Probably not. Most people are actually probably thinking the exact same you are and are more focusing on themselves instead of you. Train yourself to talk yourself and your anxious thoughts down.

4. Don’t feel like you have to handle this alone

Surely there is someone who can help talk you through your gradual exposures and be your support system. Maybe you even have a friend who struggles with something similar. Utilize supports and friends! Just knowing you’re not alone can do wonders.

5. Keep practicing!

Never give if you feel like even this is too much or it isn’t working. It’s ok to involve a professional sometimes as well. And one failed chance doesn’t mean complete failure; always try again. You deserve a chance for freedom from anxiety in social situations. Just remember “never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”